The Feast of Patrick – Patron “Saint” of Ireland

Today is the feast of Saint Patrick; today we celebrate his sainthood, the ascendance to heaven of a Romano-Brit (a British man of Roman heritage), who lived sometime between the fourth and fifth centuries CE (if he lived at all).

 Patrick is one of Ireland’s “Patron Saints” though he was not Irish at all; he was a Roman of the Patrician class, from a family of rank and privilege, or so his hagiography lets us know. 

 Patrick (Patricius) is credited with converting the people of Erin to faith in the Universal and Apostolic Church of Jesus Christ; in so doing he separated the Celtic people from their Gaelic traditions, subordinating them to the Catholic Church in Rome. He won with the Word what could not be accomplished by sword and spear, by fire and blood, and war (though there was plenty of killing and burning for the saint to do) and for this he was named a Saint of the Church by popular acclaim.

 It should be noted however, that Patrick has never been canonized, or even beatified by any Pope, therefore Patrick is not officially a Saint of the Catholic Church; though he is recognized in the annals of the Saints of the Church of England, I hope that all my Irish kinfolk appreciate this irony…it is worthy of song.

 History tells us that Patrick was a humble man, a rare quality for those of rank. History also tells us that Patrick concocted the top-down model of spreading the faith by converting chieftains first, which subsequent to his success in Ireland became the model for proselytizing and missionary work throughout Northern Europe.

 Patrick was a politician of great skill. He spread the faith, established churches and earned the rank of Apostle by careful control manipulation of his narrative.

 History tells us that his mother was a relative of Saint Martin of Tours, the Patron Saint of Soldiers otherwise known as Saint Martin of the Sword, whose hagiography was written by Pope Saint Gregory the Great.

 History also tells us that Martin’s hagiography was a work of pure fiction; Saint Martin never lived, even so, his story gave license for Christians to serve under arms, and as such it brought the Roman legions into the arms of the Mother Church.

 Patrick was said to have had a “heroic piety,” praying day and night; in the mountains and in the woods, he prayed through the rain, he prayed through storms of snow and ice…if this were true he should be the patron saint of post men, but then again…all hagiographies are lies.

History tells us that Patrick spent six years as a captive and servant to a Celtic Chieftain, the Druid named Milchu in Dalriada, where he mastered the language of the common folk and learned all of their stories as well.

 If you appreciate history, and you assume that Patrick’s myth has a historical core, you will know that it is much more likely that he fled his home to wander abroad in order to escape the duties that were expected of him as the son of a nobleman. Such departures were common in his time, they were referred to as the “flight of the curiales,” and you may conclude that Patrick was no captive at all, he was just a boy running away from his responsibilities.

 Rather than being taken captive it is more likely that he paid for asylum in Milchu’s house. The Druids were great teachers and oral historians, this much we know is true. It is likely that while he was there, he paid for the services of tutors who helped him learn the language.

 The story of Patrick’s escape from servitude (if it was in fact an escape), and the journey that followed, are his own account. He cast the entire experience in dramatic, even biblical terms, which served both to cover up his crime of abnegation and to establish his fame when he returned home.

 Patrick tells us that he escaped from Milchu and then fled to the mainland of Europe where he entered the priesthood and became a missionary. On his return to Ireland however, the first place he went was to Dalriada where he had lived in Milchu’s house. After some period of conflict with his former captor (or patron) and the affectation of some miracles on Patrick’s part, Milchu is said to have immolated himself in order to make way for the upstart Patrick, throwing himself on a fire after burning the collected scrolls and mysteries of his people.

 Allow me to say this…something does not add up!

 These event may best be understood in metaphorical terms:

 The ritual destruction of the Celtic people in favor of the ascending Romano-British invaders, becomes reimagined when Milchu offers himself as a human sacrifice at the foundation of the Church in Ireland…this is how Patrick wrote it:

 On Easter Sunday, 433 a conflict of will ensued between Patrick and the Celtic Arch-Druid Lochru; historians mythologized it as a battle of divine forces like the contest between Moses and the Egyptians or Elijah and priests of Baal, ending with Patrick magically hurling Lochru into the air, before he broke the druid into pieces on a sharp rock, another ritual murder at the foundation of the Church in Ireland, another human sacrifice to be sure; there is no other way to read it, this was a good old-fashioned Roman slaughter.

 It should be noted the Saint Columbanus, the Patron Saint of Poetry, who was the most significant representative of the Irish Catholic Church after the Dark Ages, who lived and wrote and sent missionaries from Ireland to Continental Europe where they built Churches and founded religious communities, Saint Columbanus (otherwise known as Columba or Colmcille), who together with Saint Bridget is the true patron Saint of Ireland and the Irish people, makes no mention of Saint Patrick in his writing, not once, not anywhere; on the contrary Columbanus tells us that the Church in Ireland was founded by a man named Palladius.

 We may say with confidence that the entire legend of Saint Patrick is little more than a myth designed to subordinate the Irish heart to a British nobleman of Roman descent, and a fictitious one at that.

 Therefore be mindful when you celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, the entire holiday is as much of a ruse as the good luck kisses plastered on the piss soaked stone at Blarney!